I realized something about my overwhelm.
How it used to go…
I would want things to go a certain way. You know, I had expectations for myself, what I would do or accomplish that day. Of course, I wanted my kids to get along, make good choices, be respectful. I wanted a smooth commute to work and my relationships in harmony. I saw myself excelling at work. Family and friends to be in good health, plus finances to continue trending with a greater cushion each month.
My heart desired to be the best mom and version of myself. I wanted to roll with the flow.
This all seemed normal. Like what everyone else wants, right?
Well, this all started to feel like more a Cinderella fantasy world.
At times, any or all the above would be in disorder. Heavy workload, kids experiencing hard times, family health issues, relationship turmoil…
Let’s not forget the energy it took to be super mom. I said yes often and tried to smile.
Reality was…I was overwhelmed! I was crabby with my family. Work was stressful. I wasn’t really investing in relationships.
I was going through the motions of life, surviving. My favorite part of the day was crashing into bed. It was like saying, ‘I did it!’
All to start over again the next day.
Yep, after months to years of this…I experienced burnout. I was exhausted.
What I realized…
I was missing from my life. I wasn’t fully present in the moment. I wasn’t loving my life. I mean it was the life I wanted…with great kids, friends, and family. I was intense, hustling, determined.
I longed to just be myself, relax, and not have to be so responsible all the time!
So now I have the awareness of what I want to change.
But seriously, how does a single mom get to take it down a few notches?!
What I did…
I had many conversations with my life coach, discussing my overwhelm pattern. We broke down the cycle to how I was handling, reacting/responding, and who I was being in this process.
For instance, taking only one example, I believed I was committed to being a loving, supportive, and responsible mom. My behavior indicated I had high expectations and noticed all the things going wrong. I would ask how my child how his/her day was, and in the next breath say, ‘Pick up your shoes, put your backpack away, I see your dishes in the sink, how much homework do you have?’
In other words, who I was being exasperated situations and added to my overwhelm.
When my commitment and who I am being are not aligned, I don’t get the result or desire of my heart.
My true desire is connection with my kids, not the clean house (but this would be a bonus!!).
As I unraveled the many pieces that play a part in my overwhelm, I can see how my choices and how I show up make a huge difference!
What’s got you overwhelmed?
Do YOU want OUT of this cycle?
I would love to hear your response!
